I dated my husband for almost 10 years before we married.
Well, on and off but still, it was quite a long relationship. When we finally got married in 2010, I was over the moon excited like any new bride would be.
But once we started living together, I realized he had a few habits that rubbed me the wrong way (and I probably had habits that got to him too, but he never mentioned anything to me).
And guess what-I was ready to save the day, I mean, save him….ok, change him to someone I could be happy with. I got to work doing just that.
Why I believed changing my husband was a great idea:
1. It was the Christian thing to do.
I believed it was the Christian thing to do. I mean, a good Christian wife helps her husband to be a better human. It’s how you love him with the love of Christ…so I thought.
2. I thought I would be happier.
I believed that if my husband changed his habits, I would be a happier wife because as long as he did things that bothered me, our happiness would not be guaranteed. A “perfect marriage” was the only marriage for me.
3. My behaviour was perfect, his was not.
Have you ever noticed that women we have a lot to say about the changes their husbands need to make? At the very least, we’re less of a sinner than them, right? Hmm.
4. It was my wifely duty.
I believed it was my job to help my husband be better. There was a societal expectation that when a man marries, there has to be visible changes in his life (he must gain weight since someone is cooking for him, he must become more responsible, etc). So much pressure!
The result? I failed to change my husband. I was frustrated and so was he.
If you would like to continue reading more about my journey towards loving my husband unconditionally, please visit Leah Grey Ministries. You will be very encouraged and set free to truly love like Jesus Christ.